no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
