I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
