I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
