I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
