The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize