tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
