Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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