He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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