He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
