Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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