How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
