so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
