there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
