I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
