Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
There was a lot of him and a little penis
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize