i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
