i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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