There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
