dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize