her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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