I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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