are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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