I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
