If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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