I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
