my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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