People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
