i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
