My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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