i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
