I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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