marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
