I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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