i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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