And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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