ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
tell me about the fingering
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