Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize