I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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