Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
