it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
