I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
