I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
