I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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