Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
