I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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