you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
