all she had left on were here heels. phone five
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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