so that wasnt chicken after all
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
