Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
