Screwed.edu
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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