I have demons in me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
