i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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