Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
