she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
