I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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