The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
