You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
