I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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