My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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