Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
