White coat. Heels.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
