And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
