but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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