Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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