Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
