so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
