I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize