you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
