I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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