i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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