the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
