I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
