and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
