i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
