Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
